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  • Thursday, February 23, 2006

    The Ascending Incurve of Desirability
    By Sean Ripple

    "Beautiful!" said Stephen as he got out of the car. "You never would have known that this used to be a housing project."
    "Too bad that this whole city knows that this used to be a housing project."
    "You know, Grant, with those sorts of remarks, I would think I'm paying you to piss me off."
    "You're going to throw out the paying me thing again are you? How tacky. I'm not subject to your dominion or whatever curious turn of phrase your delusionary idea about your status is built upon. I gave you a hand with this project because you asked me to."
    "What's your problem?"
    "Do you see that white flag over there?"
    "Do you see that one over there?"
    "And that one?"
    "Yeah, get to the point, Grant."
    "What do you think people are trying to say with those flags?"
    "I see, I'm supposed to be made to feel like a war monger because I came in to rejuvenate this area when the government abandoned it. I decided, upon seeing the first one of those flags 4 months ago, that I would not allow that rhetoric to diminish my efforts. I mean really, how could I just stop construction on a 35-million-dollar project because someone decided to get all John Lennon in response to it?"
    "Wow, Stephen...................... It's crazy how insensitive you are to these people. A lot of them are being displaced almost instantaneously because of this development, and...."

    From across the street, a largish rock came hurling with deathly intent, striking Grant square on his right-side temple. It hurt to be sure, but mercy prevailed, Grant being not much more than startled at the occurrence. With a voice unhinged from all sense of restraint and commercialized grandiose emotion, Grant yelled, "I DESERVED THAT!"

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